Ya Allah.... Help Me.... I am LOST!!!! I .... don' t know what to say or do anymore... SAVE ME ;(

I CAN'T LET ANYBODY GO.... I CAN'T. I SIMPLY CAN'T :(
Grandpa! I AMMM SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU. YOU ARE THE ONLY GUY I LOOK UP TO.
NOW I DON'T KNOW. I'LL CRY MY EYES OUT IF YOU DO IT.

I ONLY HAVE ONE GRANNY AND SHE DIED AND I LOVE HER VERY MUCH.SHE CANNOT BE REPLACED!!!!