Hey people.
Yea so what am I suppose to be doing now but yet what am I doing??? I'm suppose to like study!!! But I'm blogging, finishing up the design of the name cards, hmm what else eh? oh ya watching Panic!at the disco's Ryan Ross... he's sooo cute & sooo hot. Oh ok. ya wanna get a look at him? wait a sec...






SO SO cute & Hot!

Ohh ya and finishing up someone's b-day prezzie I totally can't wait for this saturday! haha.Ok before anyone things I'm a pedophile... this boy is 19 k???haha he looks young just like me.kekeke
I think i made a mistake of coming to school. A huge mistake. K this entry will sound sad apart from Ryan ross:) I always see him and her. Yea for those who know what am I talking about. I didn't know it's gonna hurt this much. My heart's bruised & bleeding.Now I am sooooo ready to go for internship & leave school totally for the whole 5 months. If I could I've would have gone as far as UK or USA for an internship.haha tapi takde pulus dok:)

Well today someone sat with me for his lunch so I'm not alone for that moment & had someone to talk to, thank you.you know who you are:)

I think I'll study on the way home. i think I'll take bus 156 home from Clementi to enjoy the long way scenery + study alone. I'm alone again. I think I have to find more friends,friends to hangout with.Seriously I've been hanging out with myself only for the past few weeks. I shop alone. Hangout alone. My sister's got a boyfriend so yea there's no time for her elder sister anymore.That's sad right? Most of my friends are busy...Sometimes I wish Fad was here. we always depend on each other.I never felt soooo empty in my entire life. ya Allah, kaulah sahaja tempat hati ku ini mengadu...

Now I really feel that to love is suicide... Someone remind me to not ever fall in love with a stranger ever again. Let me get you to picture what it is like between me and Mr.A... Watch this video from 'So you think you can dance' if you understand this contemporary dance routine... you'll know what I mean. The song " calling you" means a thing or 2.



To Mr. A:

I'm tired, i'm exhausted of these feelings for you,
I'm dying on the inside which noone can see,
This is the emptiest i've ever felt because of you,
Maybe I should blame myself for letting you in ,
When I could have just shut you out from the beginning,
Please let me go...
Or I'm the one who should let you go.
But I keep holding on to you why?
Have I fallen too deep?
But I don't really know you.
How could I?
Just to let you know I still do pray for you,
For your happiness,
For your everything,
I wish you both the best
It is best if I leave you for now,
Cause you don't need me and you never did.
If in circumstances we were to meet again later in life...
I'll tell you now & tell you the truth
I will always love you... remember that

"Excuse me ,think I've mistaken you for somebody else somebody who gave a damn...somebody more like myself..." Jewel-foolish games

Now i'm being entertained by Adila online although I'm lonely I know somebody cares for me...sigh I miss her too much. I admit I'm not brave enough to let you people know him who is this guy who broke my heart yet but it is just not right to do so...Cause it isn't his fault.It's my fault totally for falling for the impossible...


K I got to go now...