I dont wanna be involved

U determine your life now. I don't wanna hear any complains from you or if anything goes wrong. Impulsiveness is STUPID. Bottom-line I don't wanna be involved... at all. Oh one more thing dont ask me for advise on anything besides life and academics . thank you. Good luck anyways:)

A Night Out With My SP Siblings

Reaching home late night again. These are the kind of madness that develops when you are friends with these bunch. We went for dinner at Newton and went to Bedok reservoir for our lepak session.

Me & Syazzy @ Marina Square

I think 4 years and going strong

Me and my fire fighter friend

My SP Siblings. My crazy brothers and Sisters :)


Our Seafood dinner we ordered stingray, baby squid,satay, lemon chicken and kangkong

our lepak session too bad Siraj had to go home early.
The exclusive pics are not with me yet guess u readers have to wait :)

Feel Like Wearing A trash bag

I know I've put on weight damn it. I feel like wearing a trash bag! Man I am so going to try to lose 10 kilos in March. It is hard for me I know because my body isn't tolerating with me at all , it is soooo difficult to lose it, it took me 2 years to lose 10kilos in the past 2 years. I know I must be more disciplined.

Ok I will try to eat one meal a day, only drink plain/green tea and workout everyday for 2 hours. sheesh these things sounds tough already but if I have strong will and focussed, I can do it. Give me support ya.

Just gotten home from a long night out with SP mates. Believe me or not we did the craziest thing ever. Syazzy and Siraj was sitting in the boot of the car and I am totally serious! Pics tomorrow alright I am super exhausted :S

A well spent day at the beach

So today is CNY! tong tong tong qiang! hahaahah. So my dad brought us to the beach again so after I've learnt my lesson last year I decided against going for a swim because the toilet is going to be super packed and bingo! The day didn't start too well because of my dad's nagging . tak habis2 ! But as it progresses it turns out quite well.

Well I had fun sitting around, taking photos and soaking my feet in the water. I am however going for a swim on Wednesday or Thursday morning when I can have the sea and toilet all to myself providing I have a companion plus it doesn't rain. I am wishing real hard Amy can accompany me. ahaha. I am looking forward to see my SP mates tomorrow:)

So here are the photos of the day.


I know what u thinking! OMG sexy legs! haha the tidal waves were high ok!

My favourite shot this is super candid

My brothers soaking up the sun and got tanned a little too much.

I buried both my brothers and it was like super hot la


A true PUTERI LILIN!

My mum and dad step lovey dovey bluek! ahahaha. U see my dad? ada ke tadi ura-ura nak buat handstand against a pokok kelapa, nasib baik I stopped him & made he think twice. Dulu kalau masih muda dan ringan tu tak pe la skrg dah boncit nanti kalau jatuh hanya tuhan sahaja tau betapa malunye I will be . HAHAHAHA

Cute pe gamba.

So happy chinese new year to everybody dan jangan lupa ya bahawa tanda dunia akan kiamat ( Gerhana Matahari) telah timbul sooo di tahun baru cina ni saya harap kita dapat mempertingkatkan lagi amalan kita :D
PS: Dunia belom kiamat! Remmber that song. Lagu tu patut di scrap kerana dunia closing to kiamat. harap2 jangan lah soon aku belom ready. amin.

Sometimes...

I feel like I want to paint my face and pretend that I'm someone else. I am laughing as hard as I can and as loud as I can but does my heart laugh along to the beat of my laughter? hmmm....
I am worrying too much that a little while ago I stopped craving for food and my appetite got lost in my thoughts.

Ya Allah, berilah aku petunjuk sekali lagi. Dugaan kali ini amat berat.

PS: My girls I had fun yesterday reading everyone's testimonial. Miss my loves!

Things that keep me motivated

...Is the testimonial I got from my girls in secondary school, the one Cikgu asked us to write and he got it laminated for us. Some of the comments i still don't know who it was from. Ouh to siapa2 yang baca ni if you have the time post your testimonials too! I wanna see !!!

NUR ATIQAH

1) Seorang pelajar yang baik! ( I still don't know who gave me this comment)

2) Perwatakan kamu yang periang, sering sahaja membuat kelas bahasa melayu kita begitu ceria sekali. (Adila! Thank you:) U are my partner in crime 4ever)

3) Senyumanmu manis, suaramu merdu. Sweet-sweet janganlah kau terlalu "buas" kerana kelembutan lambang kewanitaan( Confirm from Syazana, malay very formal. Sorrie babe I am still BUAS kata anak jantan mah... haha)

4) Sweet-sweet girl. Pipinya sentiasa merah. Selalu senyum. Bagus dalam judo,kelakar.ceria. Semoga berjaya dalam akademik. Nadz. ( Naidatul because she signed of her name)

5) Walaupun "buas" suaranya yang lunak dapat rasa " terselamat" dengannya. ( Who gave me this ? Own up!)

6) Walaupun kamu dipanggil Buas selalunya, Tetapi kau tetap menjadi "pujaan" hatiku. ( Aisyah... Harap I am your pujaan hati 4ever ahahah)

7)Seorang teman yang jarang atau sukar untuk ditemui kerana dalam banyak2 kawan yang saya ada, awak seoranglah yang paling gembira dan ceria selalu. Kami berkawan rapat sejak menengah 3 . Hati-hati ya...silap langkah...hah...bukan silat yang dia buat... Judo! Jangan main-main tau! ( Aminah. I hope I am still as cheerful as I was back then and I hope I am still as funny as I was back then)

8) Sahabat yang kuat! (SHEMAN)
Seirang yang berani dan tegas ( Hmmm... who the hell wrote this? ahahah)

9) Seorang yang rajin dan sangat peramah. Hey Atiqah... You are pretty tau...ingat jangan ganas-ganas sangat, nanti orang lari... haha ( ni confirm Sarah. I miss u babe da almost a year plus tak jumpa. hmmm)

10) Awas!! Buas Bonna! To SHE-MAN, Thanks for being there for me...*Muhuhahaha*Kalau nak gi happy hour dun ferget to ask me ya!!*Muhuhahaha* ( Arwah Fadinah. I hope I have been the greatest friend you had when you were still around. I miss u lots)

PS: Aku baru sedar eh Sakinah mane satu yang kau tulis ha....??? U girls made my life more meaningful...

Stop Being Negative

Why being happy is so difficult whilst being unhappy is so easy?
Are we not satisfied with our lives that we have to feel unhappy half the time? hmmm.....
For me I am satisfied with whatever I have now but I'll be lying if I say I am satisfied with everything. But sometimes u know you can't be happy all the time and u cry when you're mad or sad but that should be less than 50 % of your time.

Still the most important thing I have learnt and one great lesson in life is don't let my mood spoils anybody else's mood, Thank you to Syazzy for teaching me this. So if I am unhappy I will be unhappy for a minute and complaining,blabbing and all but the next minute I'll make YOU happy.

3 steps to a happier life : 1 ) complain all you want / express yourself
2) Don't think about it too much
3) laugh it off & let go ( THIS IS THE HARDEST PART)
Remember NO one wants to die unhappy!


Miss ya Syaz!

Date with Amy at Henderson Wave & A case of low self-esteem

I was really bored yesterday my lil' sis went to Johor with him~ bleargghh but anyways I texted Amy if she wanted to go to Henderson wave after work, so we decided to meet up when she called me at 4.30pm.

I changed my clothes then felt it was not right and changed again till I changed my outfit for 5 TIMES in 1 hour and totally did not feel like going out anymore suddenly all the tauntings about me being fat rushes through me and I cried for a good 1 hour before going out. I had to pull myself together and really pushed myself out I didn't know why it bothered me so much. I felt SO insecure worried that everybody see me as ugly. But anyways I fight the demons in me and still went out. applause. I think I need to lose a solid 10kilos so I don't feel this way anymore but how???

I really needed a breather and I got it. I had fun sitting & staring into the night sky.


PS: Don't worry about me I am still strong enough to handle this *bleep* at times I just breakdown but I can still pick up the pieces.

Work Starts On Feb! SHEEESSSHHHH

Today when I was all excited, geared up and psyching myself up for my first day of teaching I got a text saying:
"Dear Atiqah due to time constraints we have decided to bring forward the lesson to after CNY if there is no other issues it wil commence on 2nd Feb 2009-Miss Leong"

My reaction...DAMN! I am getting restless sitting at home I want to work! I hate sitting around doing nothing as my life feels like it is dead frozen in time. How I wish I had the $$$ to go to University I guess I have to be patient. I miss school..esp. SP.

Thinking again February is where my life starts I will be super busy, tutoring will start so does this malay conversational programme... Then again I am praying hard I get the job as an Allied Educator with MOE. The only thing I can do now is wait, life is full of waiting but like my darling says when it starts it will roll and never stops.

PS: My sweetheart Sakinah I am fine I will take care of myself just feeling down half the time. Thanks for caring. Love u. Hope to see everybody soon =)


These are the girls that make my life complete.

Am I Not Pretty Enough?

Yeah I know I am not pretty nor am I slim. But you don't have to throw insults at me. It is not like I am not trying hard to lose all this weight, I exercise and try to control my food intake. It is not easy for me to lose weight you know and yes I don't have the perfect skin. You don't need to tell me that. I know I am not perfect but then again nobody is. You don't have to make me feel hurt and feel ugly half the time. I know I am ugly you don't need to point out anymore flaws that I have. Sometimes all the remarks you make, makes me want to give up. But I have to fight on, I wanna win this fight in my own way.

I have yet to find someone who appreciate me for who I am and tell me that I am beautiful in my own way. Sheeshhhh why is this so hard?

Find Me Someone Like Wayne Brady

This guy is superbly funny and does 'the' best impression of Michael Jackson. At times like this I need lots of laughter to kick away the pain :) Wayne Brady is just whack. He is superrrrr hilarious. These are 2 of my most favorite Michael Jackson act. WATCH IT & you'll know what I mean! enjoy.
Celebrity Deathmatch Michael Jackson VS. James Brown






Michael Jackson Song

I Was Taught To Be A Man

Yesterday at around 10+ pm someone called to say that my grandpa was at his sakaratul maut. Short moments later he left us. I didn't cry when I heard this eventhough I panicked at first. But once I saw him and knew that it was true, emotions start to flood in. I cried hard and it was harder to read surah yasin knowing this time around he is really gone.

To watch him go today was the hardest , watch the burial and all, I thought I can't shed anymore tears but when I saw his face, tears rushes in and I can't control it. I love my grandpa and I will truly miss the days we spent together, now I miss my grandma more. They were the cutest couple I ever known and they showed me how hard life can be. My grandpa, he taught me that as the eldest daughter I have to be both a son & daughter. So pardon me if I am tough with people cause I was taught to be a man too.

My grandpa is the one that I love when my grandma was all "noisy". Despite the mistakes he made I still love him and wished that I haven't ignored him for the past 2 years.

2 days ago when I saw you in your hospital bed, I cried when my mom asked me to read yassin to you when you were still alive. That was when I realised I have forgiven you and I still cared a lot for you.

Today is my time to let you free. Goodbye atok, atiqah sayang atok, atiqah rindu atok, atiqah akan sentiasa berdoa agar atok dan nenek akan tenang disana dan dijauhi segala azab kubur.

al-fatihah.

Dengan nama Allah yg maha pemurah lagi maha penyayang
Segala Puji Bagi Allah Tuhan Pemelihara Semesta Alam.
Maha pemurah lagi maha penyayang.
Yang menguasai hari pembalasan.
Hanya kepada engkau kami mengabdi dan hanya kepada engkaulah kami mohon pertolongan.
Tunjuki kami jalan yang lurus.
Jalan orang2 yang kau beri nikmat.
Bukan jalan orang2 yang kau murkai dan bukan jalan orang yang sesat.
Very rare photo to find of my grandma & grandpa as y late grandma hate to take photo. I am glad you both were my grandparents you both taught me a great deal of life lessons. Love you forever.

Prayers

Allah listen to my prayers: if you wanna take him take him easily please go easy on him, don't make it hard...

Today I sat down and talked to Allah for awhile and everything feels like its going to be alright once again. I hope I can be stronger. I am prepared if he has to go and if it is his time.

Darla's & Amy's Day Out

Besides the fact that my health is deteriorating. I had fun being Rachel Zoe for a day. So I was Amy's personal shopper for the day. She bought a fresh green printed dress. I love the dress wish its mine.



I bought my mum a forever 21 wallet for her birthday. So deliciously yellow.


PS: Ya Allah tenangkanlah hatiku.

iLL

I am falling sick again~

An open letter to my Grandpa

Hello grandpa,
Please stick around longer. I know you are old enough that Allah can take you any time. I am not ready to lose you too :( I have too many memories of you and me talking. You sharing your war stories with me. I miss nenek too. I remember the past 3 years I spent a lot of time with you and nenek. She's gone I miss her a whole lot, maybe if she's around things wouldn't end up this way. Atok please stay, if you were to go I hope it will be easy on you.

Unhappy

Hey people!
I've got the job at River Valley Primary as a Conversational Malay teacher! yay! Hurray alhamdulillah! but I am still not happy. If I still haven't got any reply from MOE regarding N.I.E, I am a very worried girl. All pressure is on me now. A lot of it. Ya Allah kuatkanlah aku menghadapi dugaan yang kau turunkan padaku ini,aku takut jikalau aku tak kuat ya allah. Ya Allah ya rahman berilah ku petunjuk dan kekuatan. amin.

I keep thinking of her. I miss her a lot. She was my bestie that I talk to a lot! Now that she isn't around anymore I don't know where or who I can just let all out to. Ya Allah aku ikhlas ya allah dengan kepergiannya tetapi kadangkala ku di timpa kerinduan yang amat sangat padanya terkadang aku terasa seperti hilang tempat ku mengadu atau hilang kebahagiaanku. Ketemukan lah aku dengan bayi yang aku selama ini impi-impikan yang boleh mengubati kerinduan dan kembalikan kebahagiaan ku walaupun seketika .amin.

Bestie & I ( Its been 2 years my friend. I still love you. I still remembered our last hug. I will forever cherish our 7 years of memories in my heart. I will always think of you. pray for you. Love U forever.)

I know people you might think I have gone mad but you know I am feeling too lonely. Sheeshhh I need to keep myself super busy, I really hope I get into N.I.E so I will be too busy to even feel anything at all. cheers :)

Guilt Stricken

I am happy today cause I've got a new toy! My hula hoop=) I have been hula hooping around the house. I will have a 20 minute routine of hoopla fun everyday!

Sheesh... seeing tears shedding makes me rethink whether I did the right thing. Feeling VERY VERY guilty maybe I should just back off and let her think for herself. I never regret my decisions but am just rethinking again & again. Ya Allah help her. I hope I am right :/

One thing that made my day though was beating Retard in a badminton match!17-20. He said that he gave me the chance to win like WADEVER!!! All guys say that when they lose to a girl.haha. YAY! he wants a re-match. Insyaallah I'll play better than today's game. WEE~

Going off still feeling guilty guilty guilty.

PS: Allah please please please get me what I want.I promise I will work super hard. Save my grandpa too not ready to lose him. I forgive him.

Back To Class!

Hey ppl,
I am back to religious class and I LOVE it. I LOVE attending school =) love love love. Here are the pics after the religious class from 5pm to 7.30pm. Besides studying I love making new pals. Maybe I will get some photos of my new pals next week totally love it.


Norsiah looks sweet right....

We indulge ourselves in blueberry & oreo cheesecake.
I am irritated with someone at this point of time. SO RUDE!!! Whatever~
TLC girls take me out!

Darling & Darla's Evening Out

We didn't have any plans to meet up but its a last minute thingy she called me up and its a date. I enjoyed our outing at Vivo! I love you darling thanks for the outing I really enjoyed it hope more of our other besties will join us next time. Insyaallah. So far 2009 have start off SUPERB for me and I am superbly happy. Just hope this year Allah will give me a treat in Ramadhan something i have wished for quite some time.


Darling & Darla


Cya peeps am signing out!

My 2009 Resolutions

So here are my 2009 Resolutions:

1) Lose weight! ( I've been thinking about this for a long time, been working for it for a long time but it is just soooo difficult to fit my running routine or workout routine in my working lifestyle.I guess I have to take up kickboxing classes at a place real soon.)

2) To enrol in N.I.E ( insyaallah if god wills it to happen and if I work hard enough I will get it! I have prayed the Istikhorah prayer and I think Allah have given me a very strong sense on what to do. Allahuakhbar!)

3) Save money and work real hard to get a BABY! I want a daughter. My motherly insticts is kicking in reak strong.( I am too lonely, ppl! I wanna adopt a baby. I think that is what gonna make me super happy and occupied plus it will be like having a companion for life. Ulfah Muyassarah! here I come ~)

Thinking about it my parents will definitely not be happy if I adopt one but its a lifelong dream for me. Unless if someone wants to look for that someone for me ahahaha BUT that someone have to wait a REAAAALLL long time for anything to happen, how bout 8 years! I got too much to do before I wanna settle down and I hold on to my principles very strong so 8 years does mean 8 years.



I miss them calling me Teacher Atiqah! I miss them hugging me give me sweet little kisses eventhough they are little devils ( very naughty) they are also angels in my heart. This is why I know teaching will be perfect for me.

Hello 2009!

Assalamualaikum!
HEllo people Happy New Year & Ma'al Muharram!!!! Lets start the new year with a big BANG! I just got back from the fireworks display at Marina Square,City Hall. Happy 2009 everyone. Our initial plan was Marina Barrage but since my hungry stomach came in the way we went back to City Hall then back to Marina and we got to know that Marina Barrage is in full capacity !!!!
So we went back to Marina Square and I think we got one of the best views of fireworks display:)

Thank you Sakinah for making my day. WEEEE~ Oh besides that I had to chapperone Retard & Maira, It was fun going out with the both of you too.
Pics:

Me & My Girl!


My Company For the event! Look at that Retard at the back. Retarded right????

The only photo of the fireworks cause you know why? Here is the treat for everyone who missed it. Live! Online. Sorry if it is superb noisy.